RIDE THE SNAKE!: And Other Blunders ~ BackBlast for MUSKET ~ 8-7-19

HIPAA’s really let himself go.

If you don’t get the reference to the title or gif, do yourself a favor and watch “Jimmy Tango’s Fat Busters” skit.

Mood Tune: Copperhead Road

AO: Musket, 5:15am
Conditions: 57 degrees F, fog in the valley, clear on the mountain, 8/10 Al Rokers
PAX: Armor, Chunder, Zippy, HIPAA, Zippy, Shake’N’Bake, Pork Rind (FNG), Kodak (Q) = 8

YHC rolled into Musket 10 minutes early this morning, only to find what would be our entire group of PAX there and ready to rock. When you’re 10 minutes early and you’re the late one, that means you’re staring at a ragtag group of go-getters that’s ready for anything to be thrown at them. And not only do they seem like a group that would enjoy it and thank me for it…they might even ask for second helpings. We had an FNG in our midst, so we wanted to welcome him and break him in right…which means hills, lunge walks, and enough Merkins to make R. Lee Ermey hot and bothered.

Disclaimer: If there had been a light switch handy, I would have flicked it on and off in rapid succession, elementary-school-lunchroom-style, to hush the mumblechatter. So that the FNG would not seek legal action, the disclaimer was thorough, legally-binding, and I paid a stenographer out-of-pocket to be present and document it. Try all you want, guy, …I’m ironclad.

The First Bits:
Hillbillies x10 in cadence
Don Quixotes x10 in cadence
Cotton Pickers x10 in cadence
Merkins x10 in civilian count, HOLD
Mountain Climbers x15 in cadence, HOLD
Merkins x9 in civilian count

Mosey to Library Parking Deck

To help in our fulfillment of the “19 for 19 Challenge”, there were some Merkins that needed doing, and what better place than a well-lit, full-of-ramps parking deck? I made the MISTAKE of trying to give power to the people of F3, and let them vote how the next part of the beatdown would go down. It’s an error I will never make again. If you don’t rule these guys with an iron fist of justice, they’ll implode and start eating each other within the hour. Chalk it up to lessons learned:

Aaaannnnnyway…to keep a long story of who-done-what short, you had to complete this before you left the parking deck:
Walking Merkins x19
Run up to 2nd Level
Merkin Jacks x19
Run up to 3rd Level
Diamond Merkins x19

Mosey to Peacock Hall

Partner up for some station work:
The 4 Stations:
– Clean and Presses with a 20 lbs dumbbell
– Squats
– Run to top of the hill, 3 Burpees, return to next station.

The runners set the pace while everyone else does their station’s exercise till runners return. Each group does each station once.
Incline Merkins x19 on your own
Derkins x19 on your own
(Thus fulfilling today’s “19 for 19 Challenge”…good work guys. Arms properly smoked.)

Mosey to Geek Squad

As soon as we pulled into view of that rock wall, they knew what was coming, and knew it was too late to turn back.

Isn’t she lovely?

Split into 2 groups of 4
Group 1 Lunge Walks to the end of The Wall (thinking of naming her Pink Floyd?), then Jailbreak back.
Group 2 is doing Step-Ups till Group 1 returns.
BlackSnake back to AO

This is where things really came unglued. For those not in the know, BlackSnake is an Indian Run, however, the man in back has to weave in and out of everyone to claim the lead, and repeat on down the line. Apparently, while the PAX of F3 Boone are strong HIMs (no question), we’re not the most agile. There are no finesse players on this team…just a bunch of Laimbeer’s throwing ‘bows and complaining the whole time. Needless to say, our steady stream of PAX turned into this pretty quickly…

Yeah…we chose “DIE”.

So once the front group that was now its own BlackSnake found some wall, we Dipped it up x15 in cadence till The 6 got in. Zippy was in absolute awe of the perfect running pace set by the BlackSnake as it took off and split up, and he let us all know his appreciation as he arrived at Dip-a-palooza with some words of encouragement, uttered through sparse breath and a down turned brow.

Indian Run (we learned our lesson) back to AO

Peter Parkers x10 in cadence HOLD
Parker Peters x10 in cadence HOLD
Breakdancers x10 in modified cadence
Freddie Mercuries x25 in cadence

Time called.


We re-enforced the fact that the Thursday workout at AO AppalCART is no more. Full schedule is here updated on the website, just in case you need it.

There was a sidebar conversation as the PAX dispersed today talking about possibly using Thursdays as an “extra credit” opportunity. It’d be a good day to still meet and do one of several things…(practice for The Knob, travel down to Lenoir and join up with an AO there, etc.). So keep that in mind and chat it out on Slack, twitter, email, etc.

2ndF opportunities for August are as follows:
Thursday, August 8th at 6pm – The Speckled Trout
Friday, August 16th at 5pm – Appalachian Mountain Brewery
Friday, August 22nd at 6p – The Speckled Trout

Come out, have fun, and bring an FNG. Trick ’em with beer, sway them into a HC, then make them wish they’d never met us. Don’t worry…they’ll be back.

Prayer Requests:
The Greer Family still needs your prayers as a battle with cancer could lead to some pretty serious surgery this week.

Pork Rind brought up the ever-present, ever-needed request for prayer for our country. (Don’t ever take it for granted)

Ball of Man.


What did YHC learn this morning?
1) NEVER give the PAX a choice in anything. Show up and be Kim Jong-un for 45 minutes, pray and go home happy.

2) There are no ballerinas in F3 Boone, only bulldozers. It’ll be a while before the BlackSnake rears its ugly head in our direction again. Too much pace control and agility are required. (However, everyone seemed to nail the Breakdancers for the most part, but hated them all the same. Again…Kim Jong and bounce).

3) Chunder was surprisingly more quiet than usual this morning. (At least, the top half of Chunder was more quiet). I also found out that, while not having been RAISED in a barn, Chunder does CURRENTLY live in one. Well…it’s a house, but it’s a house that’s housed within a barn. It’s complicated. HIPAA can provide detailed photo intel, and Chunder and Armor can try to explain it to you, if you’re interested.

4) FNG is from Georgia originally, currently resides in West Jefferson. He’s an Army veteran that loves all things outdoors and found out about F3 through the High Country Cool Down 5k/10k from this past week. (Great job representing, guys!) When naming time came around, we gave the “Oh, there are 2 kinds of names: bad and worse” spiel, to which he replied, “Go ahead…I’ve got thick skin.”
Welcome aboard brother! Keep posting, and great work this morning.

As always gentlemen, it’s a pleasure to sweat it out with you guys, and an honor to lead.

“Kill the snake of doubt in your soul, crush the worms of fear in your heart and mountains will move out of your way.”

Kate Seredy

Secondary applicable/topical quote:

“The snake ALWAYS bites back.”

Jake “The Snake” Roberts